The night that changed my life infinitely

January 1, 2007. Mitchell came home from work. Hope was in her swing. I was sitting in a glider on a laptop. I told Mitchell that Hope missed him that day. He walked passed her in her swing to the refrigerator and got a beer. I was somewhat annoyed that he was already drinking and hadn’t even acknowledged Hope. I didn’t say anything. Instead I continued playing on the computer.

Early in our marriage we made an agreement. We agreed he wouldn’t drink liquor because he became very verbally abusive when he drank hard alcohol. Mitchell finished his beer and walked into the kitchen. I watched as he poured himself a coffee cup of peach schnapps (liquor). I walked into the kitchen. I looked Mitchell in the eyes as I picked the cup up off the counter. I said “we have an agreement, that you won’t drink hard alcohol.” I poured the contents of the cup down the sink drain. Mitchell didn’t speak a word. He walked to the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of watermelon pucker (liquor) out of a shelf in the door. As he walked into the dining area he opened the bottle and took a drink. I felt hurt. I felt disrespected.

I lost it. I tackled him to the floor. I took the bottle from his hands. I knew immediately things had gone too far. Though Hope was not old enough to remember she was wide awake twenty feet away. Mitchell did not try to fight back. I gathered every bottle from the kitchen. I walked back to the living room and sat them all on the floor to the right of the glider I had been sitting in. I sat down and picked up the phone to call Deedee.

My uncle answered. I asked to talk to Deedee. He asked what was going on. I said “Can I please just talk to Deedee?” he asked again what was going on. I told him what happened. He asked if I wanted him gone. I said “Yes”. He told me he was going to make some phone calls and would call me back. He called back in a matter of five minutes. He told me his boss was coming to pick him up. They were paying for a hotel room for the night and he could figure it out on his own the next day. I told Mitchell what was going on and he gathered his things. I wanted so badly for Mitchell to stop. I wanted him to grab me, and tell me that I was worth it, that he loved me and that I was still all he ever wanted. That Hope was worth it, that he didn’t want to walk through this life without us and that he wanted to be there for her every day. He didn’t.

My uncle’s boss showed up within twenty minutes. Mitchell left with only a red and black duffle bag without saying goodbye to Hope or I.

Mitchell got on a bus to California the next day. I felt crushed. I knew he had no other choice. He had no family in Colorado and he couldn’t afford to continue living in a motel. I really just needed time and space. I needed him gone for a little while. In the heat of the moment, that ended up being gone forever. My family was angry. There was no way they would’ve allowed him back in their home and he had nowhere else to go.

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