Hard times and a dream come true

Near the end of January my job in me to Oklahoma City for a Oklahoma Law Enforcement Telecommunications System certification class.  The class lasted five days.  I stayed in a hotel close to the location of my class.  One evening after class I went to dinner with some of the friends I had met in the class.  After dinner I walked out of the restaurant.  A policeman stood where my car had been parked.  I asked “Where’s my car?” He pointed down the road with his left hand and said “Just towed.” Apparently I parked in a no parking zone.  How could I be so stupid?  The car was in my grandparent’s names.  I did not have the money to get the car out of impound.  My mom and her husband paid to get it out of impound and took over the payments.  I was able to ride home with a coworker.  I was stressed, my grandparents were angry at me, and my mom was disappointed in me.  Mitchell and I drank alcohol together that night.

I was very irritable during the next week, Mitchell and I bickered a lot.  He told me several times that I was pregnant.  He telling me I was pregnant infuriated me.  On February 11th as he was leaving for work.  I told him I was going to take a pregnancy test and if it was negative I would pack my things and leave him for good.

Marie and I had plans to spend time together that evening.  I wanted to get the pregnancy test over with.  I was so sure the test was going to be negative.  I dipped to the strip test in my urine; put it back in the foil pack and threw it in the trash immediately.  I walked by the trash can about 15 minutes later.  Something told me to pick up the package the test was in.  I did.  I pulled the strip from the package; it had two dark purple lines.  The test was positive.  I thought it was inaccurate because I put it back in the foil pack so quickly.  I went to the bathroom and dipped a second test.  I laid the test strip on the edge of the bathtub.  Within 30 seconds, the test had two purple lines.  That test was positive too.  Marie pulled into a parking space in front of my apartment.  I carried the test as I walked down to her car.  I sat down in the passenger seat and showed her the pregnancy test.  I asked if we could go to Mitchell’s job.  We pulled into the parking lot of the convenience store, Marie walked inside and asked Mitchell if he would come out to the car.  He sat down in the back seat of her car.  I handed him the test.  He excitedly said “So we’re having a baby?!?” I responded blankly “I think that’s what it means.” He was exhilarated.  I was terrified.

I asked Marie if she would drive me to Sharon’s house.  I walked through her living room toward her bathroom and as I passed her sitting on the couch I laid the test on the coffee table in front of her.  When I returned from the bathroom, Sharon had a huge smile on her face. She said “So you’re positive?” I told her yes and we would come visit her another time.

I was in disbelief.  I cried a lot.  Marie told me not to cry because I would have a baby that cried a lot.  I took five more tests, all different brands, and all of them were positive.

Monday, February 13, I went to the doctor. My pregnancy was confirmed.  I called my mom on Valentine’s Day.  I told her she got her wish and would be a grandma around October 10, 2006.  I could hear her screaming excitedly to everyone in the room with her. She was elated!  A week later I received a package in the mail from my Aunt Deedee.  I opened the package and found three or four onesies that were pink with flowers on them.  I called her and asked why she sent little girl clothing.  She told me she was sure I was having a girl or I would have a funny dressed little boy.

The next week I was using that toilet when I wiped there was a lot of blood.  I stood up, looked down and saw a large blood clot the size and shape of a pear.  My heart sank; I knew I was having another miscarriage.  Maybe I can’t have children?  I went to the emergency room several times that week.  Each time they would draw my blood and tell me my HCG numbers were still rising and that the bleeding would stop eventually.  The next time I had a doctor’s appointment, she had all of my emergency room visit reports.  I told the Dr. that I was still bleeding.  She said she wanted to check my progesterone levels.  The next day the nurse called me.  She said my progesterone levels were dangerously low.  She also mentioned that with all of the bleeding I experienced I possibly had vanishing twin syndrome.  The doctor wanted me on bed rest for four to six weeks.  She called in progesterone vaginal suppositories for me to start immediately.  Times were difficult, money was scarce.  I called my boss once asking if I could work. He asked if I had a note from my doctor.  I did not.  He told me I could not come to work until she released me.

I was in bed for five or six weeks.  I didn’t leave the apartment at all.  I got up to use the restroom, get food or drink, and then went back to bed.  Mitchell continued to work fulltime hours and took care of me when he was home.  Near the end of April my doctor said I could go back to work.  I was never in my life happier to go to work.

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